Tuesday, February 8, 2011
New year...New decisions
Recently we received some emails from biomom...basically tearing my husband down, letting him know how worthless he is, etc. (All from her perspective and point of view of course.) These emails obviously bothered my husband a great deal. He also learned there is another man in the picture, who has taken on the responsibility of his daughter. This is the man his daughter now calls daddy. He was also threatened that his not so great past would be used against him in court, and that biomom would "drag her feet", and make sure he spent a fortune in court if that is the path he chose to go. Since these recent emails, the husband has been doing a lot of thinking. Ultimately, he has decided to just let it go and move on. I support whatever decision he makes, I just don't feel he is making the right one this time around. He's tired of the drama, I understand. So am I. I just feel like if he chooses to walk away, his daughter may never understand why. I don't want her to blame herself, but her mother is the type that would make her think that way. Her mother is also the type that will falsify things, and make up stories that just aren't true. Currently, his daughter thinks he's not around because he's 'on drugs', which is not, and has NEVER been the case. I don't know what to say to him, or what to do. I don't know if he's making the right decision, but I guess I have to trust his better judgement? I think he is just emotionally drained, and knows that our family will suffer financially if he continues the fight. I just feel lost. =(
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HUGS!!! I can say as someone who's mom walked away that there came a time when I wanted to know the truth. I was an adult and things did not add up to me. My dad never bad mouthed my mom, which I'm eternally grateful for, but I didn't have her side of the story. One thing I had my husband start to do for his daughter was start a journal. Letters to the child that told her what he was feeling and what he was thinking. I remember wishing my mom had done that, so I would know where her head was at the time. I've learned that you have two choices, support your husband and know that there are many factors to his decision, or divorce him. I'm right there will you in the lost feeling.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your feedback. I would never dream of divorcing him! I'm just going to be here to support whatever decision he makes! He deserves that, I think he's just doing a lot of hurting. The journal thing is a real good idea, and I'm going to run it past him! I hope one day she does come around, wanting to know the truth. I just fear the ideas her mother has already put in her head, and the new ones she'll create. My sd is already a very confused child.
ReplyDeleteAlso sounds so very familiar. Tell your husband to Not give up!!! We may have lost on our end but only because we could not afford an attorney and fighting across states. You two need your daughter....I am praying for you all and You will Win this!!!
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