A little about me...

I am the mother of 3 gorgeous little girls, as well as a stepdaughter. I started this blog to share my story, about my experiences as a wife, mother, and stepmother.  I hope to help other mothers/stepmothers that are going through the same thing, or who are in similar situations....

Here's the deal.  Three years ago, I met the love of my life. He became the father, I always wanted my two youngest girls to have.(Their biological father literally has nothing to do with them.) My husband also has a daughter of his own. Sadly, my husband's ex was not happy with his decision to move on.  Shortly after we started dating, the ex gave him an ultimatum. Either he could stay with me, and not see his daughter, or he could move back in with her and see his daughter everyday.  He made what he felt was the right decision, his daughter.  I tried convincing him there were other ways, but in the end, as a mother, I understood.  Your child should be number one no matter what...so I let him go.  Six days later, he was back, and made up his mind that he was not going anywhere.

I was happy with his decision...but there would be hell to pay for his decision.  In his attempt to leave, and come back, the ex slashed his tires.  I started receiving text messages that I'd rather not repeat from his ex.  All hell broke loose.  She sent CPS to my home on two separate occasions, false allegations that were of course unsubstantiated.  My husband picked me up from work to take me to lunch one day, unknowingly being followed.  When attempting to leave the restaurant, we were blocked in by the ex. She got out of her vehicle and publicly assaulted my husband, while his child watched from her backseat.  She was charged with domestic battery, and received a diversion.  I was harassed for months.

The day before our wedding, we received word that the ex was attempting to foil our plans.  She had gone to the courthouse to file for "common law" divorce. Fortunately the state we lived in did not recognize such a thing, and we were still married the following day.

One month after our wedding, the ex called and "had come to terms" with our marriage.  She was ready to allow my husband visitation.  He got one visit. We received court documents a few weeks later, for an order for child support/paternity.  My husband had never questioned paternity before, but after receiving Facebook, Myspace, and text messages, he had now had reason.  The ex was telling people there were two other possibilities when it came to paternity.  This crushed my husband, and it was very hard to handle him going through all of this.  Everything that was happening was so surreal, almost unbelievable.  A paternity test was done, and of course my husband was a match.

The courts first ordered mediation. That turned out to be a real joke. The ex had visitation set up to be supervised, by herself of course. My husband was to meet with her one night a week, for dinner at the restaurant of her choice, to see his daughter for 2 hours. (I know...I wasn't too thrilled with my husband having a date night once a week with his ex.) This lasted one week.  The next week the ex had plans, and would not be able to meet.  The following week she was going on vacation. The week after that, another excuse.  Then it's back to court we go.  This time she gets it continued.

One day we receive a phone call from the ex, that my step daughter's in the hospital, then she hangs up. While my husband tries repeatedly to call her back, I dial hospitals to see where she is.  Of course she's not in a hospital in a thirty mile radius, if even at all.  Later that day, we receive a phone call from the PD in the town she lives in.  My husband is being charged with "phone harassment"...Apparently the ex documented every phone call, then called the police.  She has a no contact order placed against my husband...and once again is no longer allowed contact with his ex, but most of all with his daughter.

As the months go by, we try to put our heads together about what we should do.  Neither of us have ever dealt with anything like this.  We didn't really have the money to hire an attorney, which gets expensive when you have cases complicated like this one.  We had really just given up hope. It's a scary situation when you know someone has so much control over your life.  My husband made the very difficult decision to just let things pass, and hope that eventually the ex would get over her jealousy and insecurity issues.

That day...unfortunately...never came.  What did was even worse...

We received an email from the ex's current boyfriend.  He was concerned for the safety and well being of my stepdaughter.  He said the ex was hitting my stepdaughter with, belts, spoons, brushes, whatever she could get her hands on. He said the ex was calling my stepdaughter names like, bitch, slut, whore, and telling her she'd wished she was never born.  My stepdaughter is only 3 years old.  It was unbearable for me and my husband to hear this.  We felt so helpless. It was heartbreaking really. We knew we had to do something, so we made the long drive, and sought help from the courts. We were awarded temporary emergency custody of my stepdaughter.  I finally got to meet the little girl I had heard so much about.  She was more than happy to be with us. She got along well with her stepsisters.  My husband was the happiest he'd ever been.

And then came the court hearing...
Unfortunately we didn't have the means to hire an attorney. Of course the ex's parents hired her a big wig attorney.  When it was our turn in front of the judge we were confident he would do what was in the best interest of my step daughter...we were wrong.  The judge spoke with her attorney, and dismissed the case. He wouldn't review the evidence...he wouldn't hear our witnesses.  He shoved us aside, and ordered my stepdaughter be returned to her mother.  We have not seen her to this day.  We have not spoke to her. We don't know if she's safe, or if she's being harmed.  All we can do is save money, and hope that some day soon we will have the money for an attorney...and will be reunited with the little girl we've lost.